After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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