We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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