he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
