is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
