Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
