I would go down on you faster than GM stock
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
