He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
