I want to have your abortion
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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