Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
