your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Alive.
So much puke
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You are the jesus of drinking
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
