Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
BRING THE BAGELS
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
