Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
