I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just gift wrapped bread.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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