I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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