just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I love having hate sex.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
