She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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