i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
