whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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