o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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