Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
