did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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