My first STD was from a foam party
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
COCAINE IS GR8
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
