Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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