Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
