I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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