i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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