what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
