but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
