Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
