I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
