i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
