I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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