Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
