I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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