from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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