You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
