At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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