If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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