There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
