Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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