Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I want a musical about memes.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
