I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And then he peed in my hair
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