she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
