Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
