I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
