yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
