STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
