rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
