i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
