you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
