i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
