Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
