We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
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