i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
