Can Purell be used as lube?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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