I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wear drunk well.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
