he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
