he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
