I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
