morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you made out with another girl for some wings
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
