Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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