I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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