she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
